Review: Legendary (Xbox 360)
What a scary pixelated werewolf, right? The creators of this game definitely got the name right. A legend is a story that people will remember forever, and I will positively remember this game forever as being one of the worst first-person shooters of all time. Click here to unlock Pandora’s box and release the infuriating, graphical error-ed, glitched evil inside.
I don’t really know where to begin. There is no real storyline…at least for the first couple hours of the game. You start of as some guy in a museum that somehow opens “Pandora’s box” (gasp). Upon opening this ancient treasure, all hell breaks loose and you’re on a tracked path to get out of the collapsing museum, while mystical powers fill up your meters…and you can never really tell what they are used for. Apparently the meters stand for your magic…or your life….or both? It makes no friggin’ sense. You emerge from the museum to see griffins flying about eating people, and you continue your tracked mission getting simple achievement after achievement for walking three steps.
So you find your first gun and go down into the subway system….and you fight fiery lava monsters…and then you fight some more lava monsters…oh yeah, and did I mention you fight more lava monsters? That is because if you keep killing them, they just keep coming back, and you must look all over the damn level to find a small valve, and turn the sprinklers on, because apparently sprinklers can kill what bullets cannot.
After fighting about 4 million lava monsters, the game switched over to werewolves, and then to people, and then back to werewolves, and then back to lava monsters. Apparently you can fight some griffins and minotaurs later in the game, but i couldn’t stomach it to that point. Why, you ask? Because every-time more than one mythical creature tries attacking you, the screen freezes up, slows down and everything looks like this.
Can you tell me what the hell is going on in this picture? Because if you can, I will give you my copy of this game…not that you would want it, but maybe your dog needs a new toy. Anyways…as shown above, the graphics are AWFUL, and every-time you get hit, it does a cheesy scratch or wound on the screen. They apparently are trying to be clever by taking a page from from the old House of The Dead series…please guys, give it back.
The recoil on the shooting is just awful. When shooting a machine gun, you will pretty much hit everything on the screen except what you were aiming at. Not to mention even if you do get a direct hit, it takes about 40 bullets to kill one lava monster. There is hardly any development in the storyline, and the main character is a grade-a wimp. He can jump like three inches off the ground! Either the guy weighs two metric tons, or the developers were stoned when they decided how far he could jump. I could go on and on.
What We Loved
- The fact that I never again have to play this game by choice.
What We Didn’t Love
- Horrible graphics, controls, storyline, characters, and enemies.
- Graphical glitching. Two enemies on the screen caused freeze-ups.
- You can’t even jump onto a one-foot box. Apparently your character is an infant.
- Everything is on a track. There are hardly any free-roam opportunities.
- The firing recoil is so bad that it is almost impossible to hit your target.
All in all, I am quite ashamed and disappointed in myself for spending $15 on this game. I could have done something more enjoyable with $15…like shoot myself in the foot with a .22 rifle. This game is absolutely horrendous, and if you decide to go ahead and buy it anyway…just remember, you have been warned. Unfortunately, I have to at least acknowledge that it is in fact a video game, so I can’t go any lower than the score I have given it.
Score: 1/5
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