Top 10 Video Games That Your Girlfriend Hates You For Playing
It is no shocker that for the most part, girlfriends and video games don’t quite get along. Every now and then you may acquire a significant other who isn’t bothered by any video game, and of course there are always games like Super Mario Kart that appeals to both genders. Then there are … other games. Games that girls will despise. Games that girlfriends will curse forever and banish to the bowels of hell. Read on, for the Top 10 Games That You Girlfriend Hates you for Playing.
10 – Bioshock
Why we love it - Well let’s start with a game that is relatively tame. On the grand scheme of gaming, Bioshock isn’t TOO scary. It isn’t TOO violent. It isn’t TOO time consuming. (This is all relative to other games on the list, fyi, Bioshock is in fact a scary, violent, and time consuming). It is just an all around great game. It has a dark atmosphere, a great storyline, behemoths with drills for hands, and demonic little girls with glowing red eyes. What’s not to like?
Why they hate it - It has a dark atmosphere, behemoths with drills for hands, and demonic little girls with glowing red eyes. There is no denying the creepy vibe you get from the game, especially given that the entire thing takes place underwater which kind of gives a suffocating feeling as you play. Then there is the whole morality issue. Any game where the question of “Should I set this little girl free in a world full of bloodthirsty monsters or kill her and absorb all of her energy?” is presented probably won’t bode well with the misses.
9 – Madden Series
Why we love it - I have to admit with this one that I’ve never even played a Madden game before. In fact the last sports video game I played was NBA Jam for the SNES. After talking to a few ladies though, this series was a common factor in being pissed at their boyfriends. If you are a sports enthusiast, I could definitely see the appeal. There is nothing like getting a few of your friends together to hang out for some gaming, so if you all happen to like football too, go for it.
Why they hate it - As one of my lady friends put it: “If they’re not playing a game, they’re recruiting. If they’re not recruiting, they’re training. If they’re not training, they’re trading. If they’re not trading, they’re entering a tournament, IT NEVER ENDS!” And so begins quite possibly one of the biggest complaints from girlfriends ever… time. I’ve been guilty of this myself. Once you find a game you like that has good replay value, you just want to play it more and more. There just isn’t really much you can do about it, ladies. Although I’m sure if you put your mind to it, you can find a few ways to get our attention.
8 – Cho Aniki
Why we love it - Okay I’m not quite sure that anyone really loves this game. Some of you may have never even heard of the series. I have never even played it before. In fact the only time I ever even see it is in witty top ten lists. So, careful reader, I encourage you, type “Cho Aniki” into Google image search (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE SURE SAFESEARCH IS ON). I’m not entirely sure what it is about this game that makes it popular, but hey, I’m not one to argue with the masses.
Why they hate it - They say a picture is worth a thousand words. If you decided not to consult Google Image Search a few seconds ago, then this is what you missed:
I wish I had a reasonable explanation for this picture
I have absolutely no idea what is going on here. It looks as though some kind of robotic squid has attached itself to Vin Diesel’s genitalia. This bald gentleman doesn’t seem to mind though, as he is dribbling two pearl basketballs while lounging casually in a meadow full of flowers. Watch out though, Vin, as the squid seems to have spliced your DNA with that of Mr. Clean, and is creating a hybrid with an abnormally lengthy torso. And let’s just go ahead and throw in some statues of naked guys in the background too. So it isn’t really so much that your girlfriend will hate you for playing this, she’ll probably just think that you are either insane, homosexual, or both.
7 – Ninja Gaiden
Why we love it - First of all, this game has ninjas. With all sorts of fun ninja weapons. Second of all, it has plenty of evil monsters, and they’ll be more than happy to kick your ass if you are new to the game. Third, blood, blood, intestines, and more blood. Throw in some crazy combos, some gigantic bosses, and some extra challenge features, and you have quite a memorable game.
Why they hate it - Let’s be honest here. This game is extremely graphic. Limbs are dismembered. Ninjas are decapitated. Blood sprays everywhere. If Ryu Hayabusa doesn’t have about 5 different kinds of blood-born illnesses by the end of the game, his immune system must be just as hoss as his Dragon Sword. After years of being desensitized by the likes of Doom and Resident Evil, it doesn’t really affect us veteran gamers that much. I’ve seen quite a few girlfriends get kinda squeamish though. Couple that with how obscenely difficult this game is (In fact it was my second place for that bit we did a while ago on “Worst Controller Throwing Game Ever”) and you’ll have a grossed out girlfriend having to deal with an extremely pissed off and frustrated boyfriend. She’ll be drinking that haterade before you know it.
A standard elevator in the Hayabusa village
6 – Super Smash Brothers Series
Why we love it – If you’ve been gaming as long as I have, then you probably grew up in a world of Nintendo. Characters such as Link, Samus, Luigi, and Donkey Kong were all classic and well-loved characters back in the days before Smash. Once the game (and it’s various sequels) did come along it was the Holy Grail of my gaming childhood. My college roommates felt the same way, and we spent many hours plowing away on our Gamecube controllers to this excellent black hole of time.
Why they hate it – If you get a good group together to play some local multiplayer, Super Smash Brothers can be one of the most addictive games ever made. This is quite remarkable considering how simple the gameplay formula is. It even went as far as myself and some friends forming the NC State University Super Smash Brothers Melee Club. Yeah, I was the Vice-President. And you bet that went on my resumè. Aside from essentially being an electronic form of heroine (Note: Resumeplay.net does not encourage drug use of any kind. Remember kids, say no to drugs!), this game alone seemed to create such a foul stench amongst my Smashlete brethren’s armpits that any girlfriend that could stand it must have absolutely no sense of smell.
This isn’t a silver Gamecube controller. It is actually a purple one that has been covered in layers of dried sweat.
5- Doom 3
Why we love it - Quite frankly, this game is scary as hell. I literally had nightmares about it. I would walk into my kitchen and just see a sandwich sitting out on the counter that maybe a roommate had made. I’d say to myself… “Okay that sandwich is just sitting there. This has to be a trap. The second I touch it, a flaming pentagram is gonna burst out of the wall, emitting all sorts of screaming Hell demons.” Oddly enough, this was fun. I thoroughly enjoy any video game that scares the hell out of me. Up until this game, the only real jump I got was the part in Resident Evil when the dogs jump in through the window (yeah, you know the part). That all changed when Doom 3 came out.
Why they hate it - I’m sure there are lots of girlfriends out there who love scary movies. When I was playing through Doom 3, however, my girlfriend of the time did NOT. The only way to really play this game for full effect is with the lights turned off and the sound all the way up. She could not be in the same room as me when I was playing this. If she even so much as heard a single demon screaming through a closed door she would freak out and run away. I remember the first time I played it. She pretty much stuck her head under the covers of my bed like an ostrich. Yeah, we’re not together anymore.
I crapped myself three times just writing this part of the article
4 – Grand Theft Auto Series
Why we love it – Grand Theft Auto III was the first major proponent of the sandbox gameplay that we find prevalent in so many games today. Since then, it’s many iterations have allowed us to steal cars in Liberty City, perform extreme stunt bonuses in Vice City, and kill hookers with abnormally large sexual toys in San Andreas. When a game gets attention from the likes of Hillary Clinton and Jack Thompson, you just know it HAS to be good.
Why they hate it – For one thing, the Grand Theft Auto series isn’t exactly known for women’s rights. In fact, the game encourages and rewards you when you run up to hookers on the street and punch them in the face. Now, you can just kill anyone on the street in the GTA games, but really, who wants to wield a chainsaw after a regular chump when you can go after hookers? And seriously, that’s all the girlfriends really remember about this game. Factor that in with the immense maps and all the side missions that require hours of attention, and you once again will find yourself with an irate girlfriend.
3 – Halo/Call of Duty Series
Why we love it – The Halo series was the one that sparked massive online FPS through consoles. Xbox Live provided a steady and reliable medium for you to meet up with your friends, jump into live games, and generally zone out and play a stellar FPS without necessarily having to even follow a storyline. Call of Duty later came along and added more dynamics to the equation, allowing more types of gameplay (*ahem* zombies). By providing fast and fun gaming, it’s no wonder these games consistently rake in a large number of players on Xbox Live.
Why they hate it – Alas, as great as Xbox Live is, there are the downsides. Notably, 12 yr old prepubescent kids who feel it is their absolute number one goal in life to question your sexual orientation and make outrageous claims that they have, in fact, participated in some form of intercourse with your mother. If you are lucky enough to get a game going without any of these scabs on the face of humanity, chances are there will still be tons of yelling and screaming anyway. In fact, you’ll probably be participating in it. Given that games can last hours at a time, this can be fairly annoying if your significant other is trying to either sleep or convince herself that having children one day is good idea.
Your standard opponent in a game of Halo 3
2 – Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Why we love it -
Why they hate it -
1 – World of Warcraft (You knew it would come to this)
Why we love it – As with any MMORPG, this game allows us to escape the drudgery of our everyday lives. It allows you to forget what is happening in the real world and just log in to a land where heroes like Leeroy Jenkins can eat chicken, and be merry. Many people feel a level of camaraderie amongst their fellow guildmembers and a level of acceptance that they may never achieve in the real world. By playing in an online realm, they can achieve all the things that would normally take too much time, effort, and money. They can also carry around giant axes and ride dragons.
Why they hate it – This game…this game is epic when it comes to relationships. I have heard and read about relationships and marriages that have ended because of it. I mean, seriously? How enticing can a game be to end a marriage? I, for one am too scared to find out. I refuse to ever play it and I don’t even have a girlfriend to potentially lose as a result. As one of my friends put it, “WOW just makes them [it’s players] obsessive blobs of stupidity and ignorance.” If that one sentence didn’t sum things up, I don’t know what does.
23 Comments
I know for general gfs this list would be SPOT on, but for mine particular one this list goes wrong at several places:
She likes Bioshock
She loves GTAIV
She does hate Halo, but not COD
??? for number 2
She used to play WoW…
But that's just MY EXTREMELY ODD girlfriend for you :/
hahaha I loved the Dead or Alive one! Nice funny read, thanks for that!
you got 2 titles on World of Warcraft though, just an fyi.
haha what about JRPG's? I can easily spend 24hrs with a new final fanyasy lol
mmm…. well, don't know about girlfriends, but my sister loves Grand Theft Auto Games (principally the Vice City and San Andreas) and she plays WoW a lot (even more then me), so…. i kinda disagree with those…. and i would put Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball
on the first place… this is the game that makes girls (and women) REALLY angry when they see you playing… trust me……
If you are the kind of person who wouldn't argue with the masses, then you're enough of a moron to write a lame top 10 list that holds no merit… However, I'm enough of a moron to read it. Thanks a lot, now we are both losers.
GTA and WoW should not even be near this list. So many girls love to rampage around stealing cars, smashing pedestrians into garbage bins, and flicking molotovs around like cigarette butts. For some reason the violence can be ignored in this game. The missions are where they lose interest though, but they will aimlessly mob around for hours if you let them.
And Wow, are you kidding? A ton of people have MET their girlfriend through WoW, or broke the ice with “So you play WoW, what realm?” and habitually go on raids and grind for hours with them. I've actually been rejected by some pretty awesome and beautiful girls simply for the fact that I tell them WoW is boring, and I don't play anymore. “oh nice talking to you, I gotta run” ok, see ya hottie.
the rest of the list is good, except maybe Bioshock. If you take the time to explain the story and motivations of the characters( like why the splicers faces look like picasso paintings), and how it relates to social order, politics, objectivism, and relative moral philosophies; you can get a lot of girls to endure the violence and creepiness because the game takes on a whole different layer of depth and emotion. If you don't, all they see is another violent game with guns, superpowers, and mutant enemies
I'm a girl and I love Bioshock, COD, and the GTA series. The more Blood, language, violence etc, the better. Sports games bore me though and I have no urge to ever play WoW though because like most mmorpgs, most people just bot and farm gold, you have to fight hundreds of people over common drops, LAG, and it just loses all its fun because of those things.
I've never really had the urge to play any of the other games but I will admit that I would get annoyed if my bf played the games more than he *played* with me. There is always a limit to these things.
Your officially the coolest girl I know.
Oh mr. Editor. Resumeplay.net does encourage drug use of any kind. LOL hilarious. Good article allaround.
The only one of these that I actually hate is Halo. I love all the others. And I have helped strategy guide-it on more than one occasion. Or just played them myself. I really enjoy SSB, I'm terrible at it, but I love it. And Ninja Gaiden… I had the most fun with my best friend helping him through that.
Well this article is more about girls that don't play video games too often. Obviously a gamer girl isn't gonna be bothered by any of this stuff, it's the non-gamers that don't like them.
this could quite possibly be the most life changing article i will ever read over the nexy 20 minutes. in Fecking credible
Oh you clever, clever man
Ha ha, yeah, I got that. I meant that comment in a light-hearted manner. Most girls I know hate all of these games. It's sad, but true. I have pondered starting a Halo-haters club though… I think I could get a decent amount of members, and possibly jackets.
Can I join? =D
I'm a girl, and I love almost all the games in the list… I love shooters, the GTA series, Smash Brothers series (awesome multiplayer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I spent many hours of my life playing SMB for N64), fighting games (Street Fighter fan until death) and “free violence” games (God of War series, for example).. Also, I use to play all kind of games with my boyfriend, and I don't hate him playing any kind of game that he likes and I'm not (RPGs, sports).. Many girlfriends are very tolerant, as you can see
Obviously, there are grilfriends that overreact towards gaming issues, but it has a very simple solution… Male-gamers, get a gamer-girlfriend, and your dreams will come true.. XD
As a gamer, I met a lot of girls that like to play video game. But for those game, most girls would not play those except for the hardcore one. Most girls are casual gamers. But finding girls who play those game may be easy or hard to find.
you left out tomb raider… when that series first came out, i devote hours to it, and my girlfriend almost left me…twice! lol
Im a girl, and I do enjoy almost of those games. Even Halo, despite my bf's assumption, and especially ninja gaiden. I also dont mind the bikini volleyball girl…^.<
Only times im unhappy with him is when he is playing MGS or football manager cause they're boring and he ignores me then…
Haha, this is so true, especially the Smash part. I can't believe I'm still dating my boyfriend after he wasted countless hours playing that game…I guess I'm a hater girlfriend, although I USED to enjoy the game before he and his friends completely played it to death. You can read my “girlfriend” perspective on the game here. By the way, have you ever played the Nazi Zombie thing on COD? That is crack for boyfriends, let me tell you.
Girls hate video games because boys give too much attention on it. I have a friend who really loves playing video games, but still have a good relationship with his girlfriend. Well, it's all about the balance. Right?
actually debating spiltting up with my bf if he buys gta4. i lost a friend earlier this year when he was hit by a car and killed in front of me. i flinch every time a car hits one of thoes virtual people and i'm going to be living with him so its not like i can really just get away. i really dont ask much of him but im hoping that one can stay on the shelf, anything else i dont care he can play and i'll probz join in and show him up lol